Anthony's dad collected him this evening (6th April) He is 13 years old.

Anthony finally left (taking his clothes) on 10th April.

I wrote this poem today because I wanted him to know how much he is missed....

L O S T S O N

When I first met you, your eyes were wide and trusting
You captured my heart with just one gaze
When you were snug in your cot at night
I thought my heart would burst with joy at your perfection

When you were barely able to sit
You stacked bricks with quiet precision
You hardly talked until you were two
But I anticipated your every need

I lost you for a while when you went to school
But home you would return with stories flowing freely
And I knew that you still felt our special bond
So I laughed alongside you and watched you grow

You questioned my decisions now but, with love
I would explain the differences between right and wrong
And you would smile that lazy smile
We were mother and her beloved son again

Over the years I have gazed at you with such pride
I thought those moments would just keep expanding
As you grew into the man I'd seen from behind those eyes
And I could watch from the sidelines, and smile

But today, when I gazed into those sullen eyes
Anger flares within your darkened orbs
As a sneering face stares back at me
Daring me to question the stranger that you've become

But in those eyes I saw a cry for help
A 'boy' not yet a 'man' suffering silently
And the mother that I am could not ignore its message
So I sent you away to set you free

The mother who was spellbound at your birth - still lives!
She did not walk away - her love didn't die!
She did not swap her coat of caring for one of distain
But she could not turn a blind eye to your pain

One day, when the anger you will not speak of, recedes
You will see the same mother looking back at you
And you will see, at last, through her eyes
What it has cost to lose her son this way.....

I love you Anthony,

Mummy